Monday, June 30, 2008

Do you not perceive it?

See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.
- Isaiah 43:19

Last Friday at our discipleship triad, we had a chance to talk about how we were doing and what to pray for. The same things keep coming up for me; the main one being inconsistent prayer time, which does bother me. However, I'm not doing anything to change it. What was once really going well for me (and I think God too), wasn't quite the same.

As we were talking about this, N said that she had read through my Peach Tree posts here and it seemed to her that God was showing me or preparing me for something new. We also all three had a powerful time of confirmation of hearing "wait" before this and it also seemed to apply to me in prayer as well.

We went into prayer and as A was praying for me, she said she saw a well tended orchard, that God wanted to show it to me. I was too busy grieving over the Peach Tree and wasn't able to see the Orchard that I was already in. N confirmed this, saying that she saw the same thing as A was praying. That God had his hand out high as if wanting to show me this orchard that we were already in. God was right next to me, He has been next to me.

Now, I don't know about you, but this sort of thing doesn't happen to me every day. I wasn't sure what to do, I knew it was real but I didn't have the vision of the Orchard. I think I prayed that God would show me, and that I did want to see it and see his goodness.

That's about it. I've been puzzling ever since on what it all means. How do I see the Orchard too? What am I to do to be able to look up and see this carefully tended Orchard? I've asked God, but I need more time to seek Him on this. Even tonight, as I tried to pray the way I have before (and where He's met me), I felt the need to come and journal this.

While I was typing this out, I was comforted by recalling that they said that God was right by my side all along. I know He is. He comes especially when I pray, mostly when I pray for other people.

When I close my eyes to pray and seek Him, it feels as if I've left the room or the place that I was and am in partly same place, but partly something different. The walls are gone, normal sensations are minimalized and I rest in the presence of...prayer. It's hard to explain. Sometimes, I don't hear the prayers in words, they become a sort of background noise. Sometimes I feel guilty about that, but I only do this when someone is on a roll, where they've hit at the heart of the issue and are pressing at it. Other times, I listen carefully for the words people use when they ask for their prayer requests and what pops up in prayer. I rarely go first or second for that reason, so I can hear what is highlighted for them. Sometimes, when I feel as if I'm on a roll and pressing at the root of an issue, I don't remember what I prayed at all.

The amazing part of all of this, is that even when my personal prayer life hasn't been great lately, God still lets me go to this deep place of prayer. I don't know why, but it's comforting to know that he has always been by my side.

Where are we going next?

As I was editing this, I was wondering, maybe God is speaking to me in my writings. Writing has always been a passion of mine and I am working on that novel. It also seems that things get clarified when I write. Also, that both A and N got impressions when they read my blog.


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