Looking For the Dead


Last night I did my 2nd run training that I was supposed to do on Weds (but fell asleep). Hubby and I found a lovely cemetery with slightly rolling landscape, trees and lots of flowers. I think with the 4th coming up, many graves are being tended to. I feel a little odd running in a cemetery because I don't want to disturb mourners. However, it was a little later in the evening and no one came until we were halfway through.

I did 5 full walk/run sets and then did a 60sec instead of 90sec run. My husband said that I could've done the full run. If I'm honest with myself, I think I could've done maybe 7 sets.

Why don't I push myself more? I watched the Losing It episode with the Vivio's and one theme that I'm seeing in the program is that if you have someone there pushing you beyond what you think you can do - you not only can do it, you may overcome something inside yourself as well. I'm wondering if there is something that holds me back from putting my all into these workouts.

I've never been a very athletic person. Was always near the last to be picked for any team in school, swam like a rock, shied away from balls, couldn't do gymnastics because of a back surgery, etc., etc.

However...

I was one of the fastest sprinters in our class.
I used to run through our hay fields, sure footed through the rows and holes.
I was good at soccer but unfortunately at the time, there was no girls soccer teams in the area
I could shoot a mean game of basketball, if only other people would get out of the way. Can we say HORSE?
I could do Jane Fonda's workout VHS after riding my horse and not sweat too much.

So perhaps I psyche myself out of doing well. I easily remember the bad things but it took me quite awhile to think up the good things. This needs more thinking time.

Oh, and the title of this post? I mentioned earlier that other people came to the cemetery while we were there. Three teenage girls had brought flowers and they were looking for a gravestone. They searched around and around and finally gave up and left.

They were looking for the dead and didn't find it.

I'm looking for a missing athletic person, and I will find her.

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